Ena Ofugara
The cliche “you never miss the water till the well run’s dry” is one of the most underrated sayings in relationships and the aftermath. Humans are creatures of habit and habits bring mental and physical dependence. And once there is mental dependence, absence of that substance or person brings anxiety, pain or a feeling of emptiness.
What one misses may not be good for one but it is missed anyway. It is just like smoking and or gambling. It is why women go back to men that beat them. It is why men go back to women who slept with their best man. And it is why a particular woman continues to talk about a PENIS THAT LASTS ONLY FORTY SECONDS…. or one minute if it is to conceive a son.
Truth is, if you are the one talking about your partner’s private part or sex life months after separation, you are missing that partner. If you are the one posting pictures of you and a popular man or woman on a mere date and making it seem all romantic, dancing and all, you are the one trying to fill a void. And if after months of tasting other “ohoro” or “osho” and instead of talking about the new vaginas or penises you still make the conversation about a 40 seconds penis, then it must be 40 seconds you are missing dearly.
Maybe he “dry humps” for one hour before the 40 seconds so it is heavenly forty seconds. Maybe he “licks plate”/Mutiu Adepoju/Lalo/head/cuninlingus for 30 minutes with toothpick by his side to remove hair from his teeth before the 40 seconds. Maybe the “osho” is designed with a particular bend that makes it rub the very “obio kau kau” and G-spot in that glorious 40 seconds. Maybe it is the way he looks into the partners eyes during the “okware” of 40 seconds that “bursts her sclero”/scatters her brain.
However it is, there is something about the 40 seconds that would make a woman use her money to marry a man. This is not some arranged marriage thing. They had repeated 40 seconds sex before she used her money to marry a man.
And not that tribe matters, but bride price is an issue in Igbo culture. Unlike Binis and Urhobos and Itsekiris etc that the bride price is negligible and so the woman could just ignore and pay, for Igbos it takes deliberate savings and planning. So to pay for one’s self for a man that offers 40 seconds sex, that most be glorious 40 seconds. Angels must come from the sky to sing “hallulejah, hallelujah hallelujahhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh” in her ear for the 40 seconds.
In fact, to add to world idioms, it is not how LONG YOU LAST but how LAST YOU LONG. Okay. That makes no sense, just like what this particular pretty lady is doing trying to throw her ex under a bus forgetting her son has 50 percent DNA from him. Maybe nymphomania plus 40 seconds will balance out to make the boy’s sexual capacity normal? Please forget this stupid paragraph. Delete it.
Point is if after marriage behaviour is anything to go by, everyone with any sense of judgement can tell who was the MAJOR problem in the marriage. Those who strived for peace in the home keep their mouth shut to continue the peace post marriage. Those whose temper and lack of long-suffering was an issue, yet feeling self-righteous, continue to speak about their partners and attempt to rubbish him or her by bringing secrets of the bedroom to the marketplace. SHAME!!!
Sad thing is how will the man respond to prove what she says is false? Should he make a sextape or just call Freeze and have sex in his house and Freeze can judge like it was tithe and offering issue?
Point is many women overestimate how difficult it is to move on. Nature and society makes it a bit easier for the man. When there is a child involved, the man is usually a playmate to the child and sees the child at his convenience. The woman on the other hand has to factor the child in all she does and this can be a strain. And whoever she dates has to factor her child and during phone calls hear “mommy mommy mommy” and during visits be interrupted by another man’s child (one’s own child is interruption enough. Ask anyone) when he wants to spend quality time with his woman. And he has to learn to be an actor and or have to fall in love with a woman and then a child or two or three. CROWD! Some women pull it off. Hats off to them.
A man’s girlfriend hardly feels same way cos most often the lady keeps the kids. All the new girl has to contend with is the visits.
And even then, it is also sometimes hard for the man cos we are all creatures of habit. Habit brings mental and or physical dependence.
Back to the issue. If you are talking about your husband’s penis and sexual ability or lack thereof months after separation, you are having a feeling of emptiness and missing him.
How unforgettable is your 40 seconds? It is not how long you last but how…
